Friday, October 08, 2004

last one tonight

So that girl I had a crush on. I don't know if I have said it on here but we kissed. And we than kissed more times. We haven't done anything past it, but she sent me an e-mail asking me about what was going on. I think it seems like she has been hurt in the past and doesn't want to get involved if anything like that will happen again. I don't know what to tell her because I don't know what is going on. I like her and I know that, but everything up here is so new. I just moved almost a thousand miles away and am learning a new city and a new school and a new school of thought. I just can't tell this girl that yes I want a relationship and yes I want things to move that way. i don't know. I can't fuck up this situation though because she is a sister of one of my good friends. I also don't want to fuck up the situation. She is a great girl and I think there could be something there. I just don't know what is going to happen next week ya know. I don't mean I could run into some hot chick and wanna have sex with her. That could always happen no matter where you are. That is something that could happen in any relationship and on either side. My problem is that if law school really picks up and I don't have time to deal with things, especially a relationship because they take time, then maybe she would get mad and I just can't worry about that. I guess in the end what it boils down to is that I would like to see where things go, but I can't promise anything. Isn't that a relationship though? Isn't it that you make a promise to put that person in a certain priority in your life? I am thinking way too much about this, but I want to be able to deal with the future if it happens to come up ya know. It is a delicate situation. The older I get the more important people are. I think life sucks if people suck. sort of it is as good as everybody makes it and I don't want to be the cause of angst. Obviously I don't know what to do here. I am sure this will create interesting posts in the future though. My love life is usually creates good stories. we'll see
to end this I just want to say that this is the duality of my blog. I really want to let people know about my feelings about law school, but I also want to record my thoughts and these are my thoughts. It is weird to be this open to just anyone that wants to read it. this is the selfish part because this will be the part that I want to read later in life and think about. Maybe it adds a human aspect to all this stuff though and is of some interest. I am all blogged out. We have an oral argument tomorrow in con law. I am sure I will have something to write about tomorrow dealing with that. My initial thought is that our professor was warning us about judges that are just plain mean. I am interested though. night


At 1:43 AM, Blogger Countertop said...

Why not simply send her to this blog entry??


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